Fighting Fear

Everyone has a fear. Something that stops us. Holds us back. You hit that wall of fear and give in. Never considering what might happen if you conquer it.

Your head starts to process the consequences of trying to overcome that fear and failing. You breathe a bit heavier. Your body sweats. Panic sets in. You break down and quit. Fear. A mental barrier that stops you achieving the seemingly impossible.

I’m afraid of being alone. Of not finding that soul mate who wants to spend their life with me and come on crazy adventures. Which is ironic given I’ve never been the most social of people and was married for so long.

The last five months I’ve never felt more alone. I hated London and my initial experience of it turned me off so much I couldn’t wait to get away. That’s changed. I’ve gradually come out of my shell and in the last month London has felt more like a home. I’d switched myself off to the possibilities and opportunities. This realisation slowly dawned on me over the weekend.

From just a 3 day walk I’ve learnt a lot. Not only logistically and physically but mentally. Being alone isn’t all that bad. I’ve had to be self sufficient and not rely on safety nets to catch me. Happy in my own company, being in my own head.

I struggled at times. I got emotional and cried. I’m not afraid to admit that. It made me stronger and more determined. I sucked it up and kept going. Thoughts of my family and friends. Thoughts of why I’m doing this.

The initial goal of these walks was to focus on something else to get over a bad period in my life but it’s snowballed into something that could change my outlook on life. I have never been more scared but I want to get out and keep going, have that adventure and make a difference if I can.

So I now embrace fear. I’m going to grasp and hold it tight. Enjoy it. Make it my own. No matter how small or stupid that fear is I will take it on and overcome it.

Dont let fear hold you back. Take the bold steps, have a big heart, breathe deeply and jump in.

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